The Empowerment of Self Blog – 1
Freedom in Forgiveness.
So many times we walk around with heavy feelings and burdens, holding grudges and not being able to forgive. A lot of us do not understand how powerful it is to forgive. Our lives are filled with people who will say and do things we don’t like, some may even hurt us to a point of no return, and where we can sometimes feel like there’s is no hope left for us. Our problem is that we harbour those feelings and dwell on the issues for far too long that they start to eat us away bit by bit. Until we eventually become our own enemies. We are constantly taking in, absorbing and accepting everything negative that’s being thrown at us without any form of release.
The freedom that comes with forgiveness is miraculous; it’s almost the same feeling as “letting go”. Forgiveness is in actual fact “letting go”, letting go of the anger, resentment, hate, disappointments, pain and all of those not so good emotions and feelings that are not so good to carry around. Like The Lord’s prayer puts it “Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”, this is meant to be a daily practice for us. The same way we expect The Lord to forgive us when we have done wrong, is the same way we also have to forgive those who have done us wrong. This is so that we can move forward and leave unnecessary baggage behind.
Growing up, for as long as I can remember I have always been in an unpleasant relationship with my own father. Simply because I felt that he was not the kind of father I needed and expected him to be. He said things to me and treated me like I was not his child to a point where I really wondered if I was indeed his. I always battled with some of the decisions and choices he made especially concerning his family (us). I hated the way he treated my mother, the lack of appreciation towards her would tear me into pieces. I carried all those emotions and feelings well into my adult life, I struggled to part with them because I felt that I needed to confront him so he can understand why we didn’t have a relationship and why I felt they way I felt about him. Needless to say that that moment never came and I realised that I am the only person suffering from this, he had absolutely no clue. Until I had a realisation that while I was busy crying myself to sleep, he was having a blast and carrying on with his life. I decided there and then to forgive him and free myself from the repression I had subjected myself to.m
It’s easy to come up with excuses and reasons why you cannot forgive. Not understanding the impact it has on your life. The decision to forgive is not easy, that’s why we struggle with the act of forgiveness.
We need to change our minds and our hearts and look forward to the joy and freedom letting go to brings. At the end of the day, it’s not about the next person but all about you and your life. Forgiveness is the first step to innermost healing and the pursuit of true happiness. If you want to heal yourself, your relationships and lessen your emotional load count, you have to take the first step and forgive.
I always say, you have absolutely no control over the other person, the only person you have control over is yourself!
My message to you
There’s great freedom in learning to forgive you. It all starts with you, when you forgive yourself, you remove yourself from the situation and it teaches you to look at the situation from the outside. This forces you to put yourself first and consider what is good for you.
There’s great freedom in learning forgive your situation. You never chose to be in the situation you found yourself in. You never asked for any of these bad things to happen to you but then you did. Forgiving the situation means you acknowledge that it is part of your life’s journey and there’s nothing you can change about it, but you can move on from it.
There’s great freedom in learning to forgive others. Whether they are aware of have they have wronged you or not, the onus is on you to forgive them for your own sake of peace and happiness. You benefit more from this than they would and it lessens your load of things to carry and frees up your energy so you can really focus on the good things that life have to offer to you.
As important it is to give forgiveness, we must also put ourselves in a position to ask for it. You are helping yourself to live better from the inside out. Always understand that you don’t have control of the other person. The only person you have control of is you!
You always have to remember forgiveness is a daily act, and it is something we constantly have to think about and act upon regardless of how big or small an issue is.
This is a principle that works in all aspects of life and any situation that you might come across or are going through.
Believe it, there is abundant freedom in Forgiveness…
I hope this topic touched you and encouraged you to see life in a more positive light.
– Siphokazi Lunika