Winning at work and life stuff
What to do first? In almost any situation
The funny thing that I have noticed about human behaviour – my own included – is that when we find ourselves in situations that make us feel disempowered or unhappy or angry or uncomfortable, our first reaction is disbelief. We just can’t belief that this is happening. And we talk for ages about how we just can’t believe that this is happening.
Just for fun, watch the people around you – and see if you can recognise this reaction. Even in yourself.
It seems ridiculously simple, but the first thing we have to do is accept.
Accept that this is the situation as it currently stands. And, it is ok if that takes you a few hours or days – but you have to get there. Pretending the situation is different is not helping you.
Think about control – how important is it to you? Is it a positive or negative feeling in your life? When you feel in control – does it give you a sense of peace or does it leave you feeling totally frustrated and angry
Those feelings will be the first clue as to what it is you’re trying to control.
If you feel bad or frustrated, you’re trying to control something that you can’t.
The first thing to learn about any situation – is to identify that which you can and can’t control.
The bad news is that you will learn that there is very little in the world around you that you can control – but that is actually the good news – because that really would be way too much pressure ?
But, the other good news – is that you always always always always control you – which is actually the best news ever.
You control your reactions to everything. You control your own breathing. You control your own thoughts. You control your own reactions. To everything.
One of the most liberating things to learn is the difference between the things we can and can’t control.
In any situation you find yourself in – 1st thing to do is stop – breathe and quietly make a list of what is and isn’t within your control.
Somebody else’s behaviour – not in your control.
It is a process, just like any other, it takes some practice. Like getting fit. You start to build the mental muscle to identify what is and what isn’t within your control. And, it starts to get easier and easier.
Give it a try. And let me know how it goes.