There are things in life that you can't change and they are things that you have the power to change.
NEW BLOG by @shynoma There are things in life that you can't change and they are things that you have the power to change. For those things that you can't change, STOP blaming yourself and feeling guilty. There is nothing you could have done to stop him from walking away, that incurable disease is not your fault, they raped or abused YOU, your daughter ,son and you still angry and you still blame yourself why you trusted him. Stop right there.... I like what William James says “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” Accepting what we don’t like, is the hardest thing to do but inevitably there will be people, situations, and events we don’t like and that we aren’t able to change. Truth is told there are things that are beyond our control. Acceptance has many benefits and can help you heal. Just to name a few ✓ A more positive attitude ✓ Less worry and stress ✓ Less energy drained from trying to figure things out ✓ Ability to embrace change ✓ Greater appreciation and gratitude ✓ A more compassionate perspective Here are a few tips to living with greater acceptance so you can have more joy and peace of mind. 1. Let go of the past “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis We all have baggage that we carry from our past, and this baggage gets heavier the longer we hold onto it. We carry a mental reminder of our mistakes and losses with us everywhere we go, not realizing how much they steal from our present joy and contentment. We can’t change the past. What happened in your past happened, so our only hope is to learn how to accept our past and move forward. 2. Learn coping skills At one point or another life will present us with an unexpected turn of events. It may be a difficult loss or a failure. So, part of the acceptance process is learning new ways to cope with a crisis. Keep your emotions in check so you can make a more conscious decision about how to deal with a difficult situation. 3. Make it meaningful Sometimes the “worst” thing that happens to us ends up being the most fundamental part of our personal growth. It is easier to accept something when we explore the opportunities and possibilities that come out of it. What can you learn from your difficulty? How has your difficulty made you a stronger person? When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl 4. Expect less We live in a world that tells us to want more, be more, and do more. This isn’t always a negative message, but it often gets in the way of our life-satisfaction. When something doesn’t meet our expectations we are disappointed and angry. Life can appear purposeless, unfair, and ruthless if our expectations are unrealistic. So, instead of expecting something to happen, or expecting a person to act a certain way, try to focus on accepting and creating. Focus on what you want to create instead of what you expect to happen. Creation is motivating, expectation is demanding. 5. Set new goals When we run into failure or setbacks it can feel like we are stuck with nowhere to turn. Life will take unexpected turns and when this happens our trajectory might have to change as well. There is a point where it is in our best interest to move on and let go of what we want. If something doesn’t work the way we planned, don’t get caught up in the outcome. Instead of doing the same thing and expecting different results, accept things aren’t working the way you planned and do something different. You may not be able change what you’re going through right now, but this doesn’t mean you can’t live a full and meaningful life. You can adapt and adjust to your present circumstances. Stop avoiding difficult issues and only focusing on what you can’t change. Focus on what you can do about the situation, and if you can’t change something it’s time to accept this reality. What do you need to accept so you can be happier and more fulfilled? Remember in all this you are still blessed! #qina